You are in a committed relationship. Everything is going fine. And then, all of a sudden, your man pulls away from the relationship. Then he comes back. Then he pulls away again. Which leaves you wondering what is going on! Ladies, your man is experiencing the "rubber band effect" of a relationship. Unfortunately, as crazy as it can make you feel to witness, it is normal for some men.
Why do men rubber band back and forth into and out of a perfectly good relationship? It could be any number of reasons...
They could be afraid of losing touch with who they are. Men are not known for making the transition from "me" to "we" like women are able to do. It isn't because men are self-centered, it's because women have a much more natural ability to bond than men do. This allows women to make the transition into a relationship much smoother than men.
They may not be ready to commit. Women can sometimes see more potential in a relationship earlier on than men are. Men are interested in the "here and now" while women can concentrate more on what can transpire down the road. Men can do this intentionally... or unintentionally. Unintentional means they do it automatically without having to think about it, usually because of the way they are wired. But when men do it intentionally, it could be because they aren't quite ready to be exclusive.
As good as a relationship can be, some men just can't shake the feeling there could be someone better out there: someone they haven't yet met.
They are leery of being hurt. Women aren't the only ones who get hurt in relationships. Some men get blind-sided when they believe everything to be going along perfectly... and then they get dumped. When this has happened to a guy, he has his defenses up. Your current relationship could be going along beautifully, but he could still be on guard since this is how he felt the last time he was blown out of the water.
He could be unsure of himself. Some men fall for a woman and then, when things start to get serious, the man will start to wonder if he is actually good enough to keep the woman. It could be low self-esteem. It could be the women intimidates him. It could be he is just scared of losing her. Whatever the reason, cut him some slack.
What emotions are at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your relationship? Are they destructive emotions? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. What are your beliefs?
Why do men rubber band back and forth into and out of a perfectly good relationship? It could be any number of reasons...
They could be afraid of losing touch with who they are. Men are not known for making the transition from "me" to "we" like women are able to do. It isn't because men are self-centered, it's because women have a much more natural ability to bond than men do. This allows women to make the transition into a relationship much smoother than men.
They may not be ready to commit. Women can sometimes see more potential in a relationship earlier on than men are. Men are interested in the "here and now" while women can concentrate more on what can transpire down the road. Men can do this intentionally... or unintentionally. Unintentional means they do it automatically without having to think about it, usually because of the way they are wired. But when men do it intentionally, it could be because they aren't quite ready to be exclusive.
As good as a relationship can be, some men just can't shake the feeling there could be someone better out there: someone they haven't yet met.
They are leery of being hurt. Women aren't the only ones who get hurt in relationships. Some men get blind-sided when they believe everything to be going along perfectly... and then they get dumped. When this has happened to a guy, he has his defenses up. Your current relationship could be going along beautifully, but he could still be on guard since this is how he felt the last time he was blown out of the water.
He could be unsure of himself. Some men fall for a woman and then, when things start to get serious, the man will start to wonder if he is actually good enough to keep the woman. It could be low self-esteem. It could be the women intimidates him. It could be he is just scared of losing her. Whatever the reason, cut him some slack.
What emotions are at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your relationship? Are they destructive emotions? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. What are your beliefs?
