I don't know if there could ever be a definitive consensus on how many people actually listen to their inner person as it relates to relationships. But, I'm going to take a stab at it by saying there are more who don't than those who do. There could be a number of reasons why this is so, but most popular I would say is the result of being alone.
I would imagine everyone desires to be in a loving committed relationship; however, many of us allow ourselves not to be one. Now, I understand the fact that men and women are different in many ways, but one way we are not different is when it comes to listening to ourselves. Perhaps we are wired slightly different and the most obvious difference is our anatomical make-up, but both men and women are similar when it relates to our emotional feelings. Each of us experience some sort of emotion daily; importantly, emotional feelings of being treated either good or bad.
Relationships are already difficult enough with trying to establish healthy and happy co-existence. The last thing we need is to pretend as if our co-existence is healthy and happy. Now I do understand nothing will ever be perfect, and I hope no one believes this to be either. But relationships can be healthy and happy without perfection.
However, when I say without perfection, I'm not including deceitful behavior, manipulative behavior or any other behavior that will end is someone's heartache resulting from selfish reasons. But we all know this is absolutely impossible for some people to exclude for one reason or another. What I mean: people tend to treat others wrong because either something has occurred in their own life, or because they know they are able to get away with it; possibly both. At any rate, those of us who happen to be the ones being mistreated we know when something doesn't feel right, it doesn't take a genius to figure it all out. You're body reacts just as if it is reacting to stress.
However, so many of us ignore what our body is saying. When I refer to body I'm simply referring to that thing called the "gut". I know men hate when woman use the words "women's intuition", therefore, I'm not considering it to be a woman's intuition; it's simply the "gut", and both men and women have it. I don't believe for a minute each of us do not know when we're in a unhealthy and unhappy relationship, we just choose to ignore it; postponing the inevitable, causing further damage to ourselves.
My girlfriend once asked me if I thought her boyfriend was cheating and whether or not she should leave him if he is, my reply was "I don't know, but I bet you do". I didn't say it with the intent of being sarcastic or even to hurt her; only stating the obvious. If you have to ask someone else whether they believe your mate is cheating and should you leave them, well, let's just say, you already know the answer before you even ask.
The two of them had been living together for a couple of years already; I would imagine she could answer her question much faster and with good reason without asking anyone else.
But then again, I thought maybe she asked because she wanted me to lie and tell her I didn't believe he was cheating; after all, how would I know when I'm not around either one that often. Granted, she confided in me on a number of occasions, but it wasn't for me to answer; that was her relationship. Not only that, one of the biggest problems we have as women is involving our girlfriends in our personal life. And one of my biggest pet peeves is getting friends involved in my relationships.
I learned firsthand, they will either lie to you just to comfort you, and in some cases they will allow their own situations and emotions to get caught up in the advice they give. Oh, and let's not forget about those friends who are single and bitter. I mean no harm when I say, if you ask a friend for advice pertaining to your own relationship and their still healing from their own breakups, chances are, they probably aren't able to give you the kind of advice you really are looking for. This is like asking someone who failed an exam to help you study for your own exam. When you ask for advice or help ensure they're in a position to give the right advice/help. This includes knowing the entire situation, excluding biases and bitterness.
Understand, friends are great to have, and it gives you someone to unload on when you need to, but truly, when it comes to something as important as staying or ending a long term relationship, you have to be the one to make that decision. Others opinions will only cloud what truth you already have within. We know when change needs to take place; it doesn't take any advice from others to make the decision because only you have to live with your decision. Although receiving advice is good in certain circumstances, it doesn't mean it's best for all circumstances. As difficult as love and relationships are, trust your inner feelings and make the best decision for your own happiness.
I can't stress it enough; if you want to truly know what you should do in your personal relationship, listen to yourself; the best and only advice someone can give. And don't be afraid to be alone, trust me, it builds self respect and a standard for how you will allow others to treat you.
I would imagine everyone desires to be in a loving committed relationship; however, many of us allow ourselves not to be one. Now, I understand the fact that men and women are different in many ways, but one way we are not different is when it comes to listening to ourselves. Perhaps we are wired slightly different and the most obvious difference is our anatomical make-up, but both men and women are similar when it relates to our emotional feelings. Each of us experience some sort of emotion daily; importantly, emotional feelings of being treated either good or bad.
Relationships are already difficult enough with trying to establish healthy and happy co-existence. The last thing we need is to pretend as if our co-existence is healthy and happy. Now I do understand nothing will ever be perfect, and I hope no one believes this to be either. But relationships can be healthy and happy without perfection.
However, when I say without perfection, I'm not including deceitful behavior, manipulative behavior or any other behavior that will end is someone's heartache resulting from selfish reasons. But we all know this is absolutely impossible for some people to exclude for one reason or another. What I mean: people tend to treat others wrong because either something has occurred in their own life, or because they know they are able to get away with it; possibly both. At any rate, those of us who happen to be the ones being mistreated we know when something doesn't feel right, it doesn't take a genius to figure it all out. You're body reacts just as if it is reacting to stress.
However, so many of us ignore what our body is saying. When I refer to body I'm simply referring to that thing called the "gut". I know men hate when woman use the words "women's intuition", therefore, I'm not considering it to be a woman's intuition; it's simply the "gut", and both men and women have it. I don't believe for a minute each of us do not know when we're in a unhealthy and unhappy relationship, we just choose to ignore it; postponing the inevitable, causing further damage to ourselves.
My girlfriend once asked me if I thought her boyfriend was cheating and whether or not she should leave him if he is, my reply was "I don't know, but I bet you do". I didn't say it with the intent of being sarcastic or even to hurt her; only stating the obvious. If you have to ask someone else whether they believe your mate is cheating and should you leave them, well, let's just say, you already know the answer before you even ask.
The two of them had been living together for a couple of years already; I would imagine she could answer her question much faster and with good reason without asking anyone else.
But then again, I thought maybe she asked because she wanted me to lie and tell her I didn't believe he was cheating; after all, how would I know when I'm not around either one that often. Granted, she confided in me on a number of occasions, but it wasn't for me to answer; that was her relationship. Not only that, one of the biggest problems we have as women is involving our girlfriends in our personal life. And one of my biggest pet peeves is getting friends involved in my relationships.
I learned firsthand, they will either lie to you just to comfort you, and in some cases they will allow their own situations and emotions to get caught up in the advice they give. Oh, and let's not forget about those friends who are single and bitter. I mean no harm when I say, if you ask a friend for advice pertaining to your own relationship and their still healing from their own breakups, chances are, they probably aren't able to give you the kind of advice you really are looking for. This is like asking someone who failed an exam to help you study for your own exam. When you ask for advice or help ensure they're in a position to give the right advice/help. This includes knowing the entire situation, excluding biases and bitterness.
Understand, friends are great to have, and it gives you someone to unload on when you need to, but truly, when it comes to something as important as staying or ending a long term relationship, you have to be the one to make that decision. Others opinions will only cloud what truth you already have within. We know when change needs to take place; it doesn't take any advice from others to make the decision because only you have to live with your decision. Although receiving advice is good in certain circumstances, it doesn't mean it's best for all circumstances. As difficult as love and relationships are, trust your inner feelings and make the best decision for your own happiness.
I can't stress it enough; if you want to truly know what you should do in your personal relationship, listen to yourself; the best and only advice someone can give. And don't be afraid to be alone, trust me, it builds self respect and a standard for how you will allow others to treat you.
