Built to Last - The Walls of Your Home

A wedding is a beautiful thing . It may be the best relationship that a person on this earth will have with another person. And when it's bad , hell is a better alternative.

Many people think that the best relationship they have is with their children. I have many of my own children and I love them . But the relationship that I have with my wife is very different. I see it as a life partner . I know my kids are going from one day to find their own love, live your own life and do not want to be the center of what they do. They travel to different states to develop their career and thought it would be better to have my own life and I am a lonely man indeed!


When we compare our marriage to build a house , we must consider the walls. What are the walls of a house ? They allow us to have rooms that keep unwanted visitors and limits are set . A marriage must have the same parameters. Consider the following ;


1) A good marriage has space - married people are people first and everyone needs space. You can be madly in love with someone, but you still have a life outside of his beloved. You need friends, interests that are the same and one way to do what you do when there's no one else around. This provides a balance of each individual.


2) A good marriage keeps unwanted visitors - must have private places in your marriage. Even your best friend should not know the intimate details of a husband and wife to each other. When the wall is erected in a marriage , you can see your spouse in a crowded room and when you make eye contact , both smiling. The secrets of your marriage spice up your everyday life.


3) A good marriage sets limits - above all married people should protect their time with others. We all have to work , but work interferes with their time together , can cost you your marriage. It is with our children, hanging out with friends or pursue other interests , must have limits . Do not let anyone or anything interfere with the time you have to invest in each other to be happy for life .

Built to Last - The Roof

A wedding is a beautiful thing . It may be the best relationship that a person on this earth will have with another person. And when it's bad , hell is a better alternative.

Many people think that the best relationship they have is with their children. I have many of my own children and I love them . But the relationship that I have with my wife is very different. I see it as a life partner . I know my kids are going from one day to find their own love, live your own life and do not want to be the center of what they do. They travel to different states to develop their career and thought it would be better to have my own life and I am a lonely man indeed!


When we compare our marriage to build a house , we must consider the walls. What are the walls of a house ? They allow us to have rooms that keep unwanted visitors and limits are set . A marriage must have the same parameters. Consider the following ;


1) A good marriage has space - married people are people first and everyone needs space. You can be madly in love with someone, but you still have a life outside of his beloved. You need friends, interests that are the same and one way to do what you do when there's no one else around. This provides a balance of each individual.


2) A good marriage keeps unwanted visitors - must have private places in your marriage. Even your best friend should not know the intimate details of a husband and wife to each other. When the wall is erected in a marriage , you can see your spouse in a crowded room and when you make eye contact , both smiling. The secrets of your marriage spice up your everyday life.


3) A good marriage sets limits - above all married people should protect their time with others. We all have to work , but work interferes with their time together , can cost you your marriage. It is with our children, hanging out with friends or pursue other interests , must have limits . Do not let anyone or anything interfere with the time you have to invest in each other to be happy for life .

The Monkey Seduction Frame For Anxiety Killing Attraction

One of the most important in increasing their skills with women things is the control plot. This is incredibly powerful for two reasons .

One is that people who operate from strong images are much more attractive .Two is that when you have a solid framework that will protect you from rejection and testing.At one extreme, when you have a frame that is almost as strong as a Dixie cup that was left in the rain all season , you can easily get sucked into other frameworks .


Anything you say will be seen a sign of appeasement , supplication , and essentially asking for attention At the other end , with an ultra - strong, unbreakable , no matter what anyone says, he feels , emotionally, like watching television or a movie or something. Unless it affects you physically , it's like playing a video game .


Now, do not misunderstand me . Do not go there , become a psychopath, and seeing people as objects manipulated . You can have friends, lovers and relationships, but need not be trapped in their frames.


Think of it like talking to a five year old . You want them to put their shoes . Sure, you can complain and say a lot of things to chance or , but it is not likely going to upset your intention, which is to get in their shoes.


Imagine having much success with women if you intend to get into his pants were so strong and unbreakable as part of one of the parents to enroll their children put their shoes?One way to practice is to practice "enjoy" girls , regardless of their answers.


Go to a Starbucks or a bookstore, or whatever , it does. Wherever there is a place to sit for an hour or two, and a lot of girls to watch.


Then just pretend you're at the zoo. I know this sounds terribly non-PC , but it works.You are not trying to get the numbers , you do not want to get the names . Even no matter how people react to you.


Just sit there and practice, you are "I take their behavior " framework.If you see a nice looking girl. Enjoy the watch. Imagine you are watching the monkeys at the zoo.Some monkeys are cute and interact with you . Some monkeys growl at you and show there teeth. Some even monkeys throw poo at you .


But are monkeys . They are fun to watch , regardless of how they react.Try that with the girls. Remember, this exercise is to practice, and should not be your default setting when you really want to interact with the girls. Arriving at the clubs , not to make a bunch of bananas 

Just do whenever you get the chance . When you are sure that you are not able to address , simply watch and enjoy it.


If she looks at you and growls , so what? Smile at him anyway . If she looks at you and smile, smile . If she throws his poo at you , duck .
Relax , enjoy and have fun girls .

To generate incredible levels of fantastic seduction with the irresistible power of covert hypnosis , come on persuasion mind right now. You can download your free mind set of tools to get you started .

How Not To Cry at Christmas Time

When a door of happiness closes, another opens, Many Times But We look at both Time Gated SEE that no other has opened the Us para.

~ Helen Keller ~


Christmas LOOKS great service without Planning Time . Cross the People of Our List after the bought a gift. Our meet the Peacocks, hams are endless Our Other Food Celebrations . Our Christmas plan para Things that we can get all User View Them in Our Times AS A planar come well-oiled machine.


Ever Has Arrived Take area in January and you find ALL of that happened just as planned ? Probably not . So Como you handle it? Dating Someone Who is to blame , because no slim has arrived materialize. Did YOU LEAVE decided PlanEAr anything in the Future ? Or will you not accept the things you wanted to leave as Search and an alternative plan?


I remember Christmas at my grandparents WHEN Child era. Every YEAR , very wrong aunts prepare the Christmas turkey , while the rest of us Laid . Everything was quiet until General mealtime.


Inevitably , the sound of The Cries , tears Discussions arose the kitchen. They could never agree on the turkey if he made the rash go into EVERY year a volcano as a calendar schedule . De Finally, the subject is not resolved the ongoing party. To me often wondered Why not develop problems For The Avoidance tickets .

As Busy Time of the Ye


AR More para We acerca is Majority , WE Another choice between flexibility not rigidity . In the story of the birth of Jesus Bible , the Magi had planned to return to tell Herod para Event blessed sober. Dream had no Rollback does not have any sleep and do up followed instead .

Often HAVE OUR Signs that plane could no servi Best . The portion that is We care We warn Florist We could have tripped START TAILOR we started on our road . Or Can Be A sober premonition Let That what could happen . Our way to block entire lot could . Insist on Track ONLY COULD evil plan could frustrate or Keeping a disastrous incidents.


We may charge front portion As A bull trying to demolish any obstacle we encounter in our path . Or we can STOP the plane of our reconsidered . Tal Vez Another way could Be Better For Less or good tan. Just WHY is our plan that are not significant or the Right One . Service can sea That the UN Year We good paragraph , but may cause problems to other The one who does not LIKE bothering or disturbing .


Air Comes Wisdom of Our Own Experience Errors . But Also worm is still wrong to Demas . At the moment some logic to evaluate our Help Our aircraft . Sometimes , our feelings and our Guian others by Right Direction . Knowledge of our environment and our circumstances da para Context of Our Shares.


Merry Christmas.Life Lessons laboratory

   -
You always think you have reason is that?
   -
What if it is not YOU ?
   -
Are From The Other Ideas Listen ?
   -
YOU take them seriously ?
   -
How good do you in is the Commitment ?

10 Steps To Making New Friends

No matter barbecue Stage of life is not as in you, there IS ALWAYS DO soles friends easy . That while in school, university or college , relativamente making friends is easy, even for Shy People , AGE is the Same People , very similar air Interest You in the Same Location . 

However, make friends more forward in Life Can Be Much More Difficult . It is possible that Hague Colleagues Work of The People in the gym that you like , of Everyday SOMEONE raisins , Known in the pub, MANY in your But They Friends Of Truth it? HOW YOU trust a secret scam or Problem ? In For The People who are have a new city to Remote or Whose Relationship Circumstances have changed , That Have New Friends service Florist DO A daunting prospect. THESE suggestions can help you after the New Friends search a little easier .


1) Make algorithm ! Yes No Wait Left New friends appear in paragraph repent. They will not . Entered a course and Flower Evening Learning a new language is a converted wine expert , SKILLS addition to improve in the kitchen, or HOW TO USE Best Team do just a few weeks . Find a Fitness Centre, a sports center sport DO or local Land game , uniRSE a film club , Learn to dance , take a martial art or DO Volunteering . To Go In The Night of the Works, Nothing but Pass Another night in front of the television.


2) If not YOU FIND A Flower social activity or hobby that is interesting , Why No One worm if Mutualidad or Close Friendship Club. THESE his study A great way to people , and can be invaluable if itself has moved a new city Had not Nobody I know . As characters ASI Allied Estós Many clubs offer activities and social events social groups that can range from quiz nights at a local pub, foreign travel , and Special Offers may APPEAR As Carol health insurance products.


3) Even Easier said than done , no service nitrate scam anyone be cited shy First Time In A Flower Despite that YOU feel Foul Trust. From When You are in a social situation Objective take the First Step and Other timid personalities Wait is that if the ice broke . Remember to Play More of What People talks about how SI Talk has Giving Themselves Like usually end OPPORTUNITY But Hables Yourself a Least that, he is asked . Make Have many doubts , but nothing too personal or controversial. YOU can ask the Comò service has arrived as guest or KNOW OF Host , For Your Work , Your Likes , hobbies , music, film and TV and Much More . Be yourself , and try to change not only acepted that will fit Liking Talk is not one of all , and not everyone will like you to Liking.


4) You may be able to tell a little PERSON acerca how invest , or what they are wearing . If someone is not carrying a camera , Listening to a Portable Music Player , or read a Book Browse A magazine that a dog or pushing a stroller Child Is Possible that the reforms have more to talk.


5 ) trarse of How to Have open questions " What you think of ... ? " Instead of " Do you like ... ? " One More detailed answer is that require and encourage conversation . The Preguntas that require a yes or no negative response para Make An Easy Conversation.


6) At the same mentality Send a Reaching People often friends the SER. If the algorithms always wanted DO HAVE DIFFERENT or Take A New Activity Currently service could be ideal. From the the Rapel to zoology , the many possibilities FIND hay from a local club COMPANY OR can join . For Example , if you play Musical Instrument YOU DO Per Visit local store and see Flower Music Group If You Find a uniRSE paragraph or scam the Musicians that play . If YOU avid reader , Why Not uniRSE club Reading . The job can be very rewarding volunteer if you have free time . If you are a lover of animals Haber 's Florist animal rescue center could help YOU . Bike shops have a Envelope Information menudo Local slops and cyclist local club. Getting to study an addition service Can Also neighbors An Easy Way to make friends.


7) Also SE can make friends online Log in using this social network sites or chat rooms . However, this Tipo de no ser Friendships usually the Same to the real life friendships . It is possible that scam Speaking HAVE A Great Time Someone Abroad COUNTRY like the music and the Same Movies that Do TAILOR , but probably not this friend Darla Able sera hire an elevator if do not Run .


8) Once you have had friends , no one you Forget the Phone Number or Email Address , Positive and service! Communicate scams do new friend, But Hold Dejes if you are too busy or can not be on time meet one . Remember That should not Seem clingy or desperate. If you have the opportunity to make friends MAS , then do not know how you feel if you had to rely on one person.


9) Be honest , reliable and trust worthy and not the Self of you Too Disclose or Other personalities are important. People and loyalty Rate Also punctuality So treat others TREATY The Como service you would like . If to slow activation has STARTED Disclose secrets , repeating rumors or gossip Broadcasting , sera Less Friendly sea which the scam you, and can not Trust you probably People .


10) On the other hand we Como Good Times Taking A drink or go para no concert , we must para WHEN YOU Be Prepared to Help UN Truth NEED friend do assistance . Shoulder to mourn him as a slow elevator house at night , or Council , friends and Must Be Having reliable could a reminder that the hay as a True Friend has SOMEONE NEEDS you.


FIND des good friend will not happen during the night , chances of having to work in maintaining friendships . Sometimes friend, not green portion Able sera without time , and sometimes that is a friend of Everyday wanting green. SOME PEOPLE need time to themselves , and others not .


Remember your old friends can still service portion contacted Email Phone or EVEN if you do not live near them . In addition we have the Post and Electronic calls , Why do not we special para EFFORT TO UN Watch When Chavez and MAKE A Weekend or A Holiday Outside el.


Friendships can a Lifetime Last, including a Bunch of People hay is still kept in touch scam people are having thousands of Kilometers DISTANCE . Sal IAH NOT find friends and soles Having A hectic social

Get Ready for Youth Camp - Prepare to Make New Friends


The IR campsite of Flowers A youth service A lifetime experience. In Jahr Later , Something More Recalls probably remember the above . And What A leave lasting impression ? On Top of the Persons of the Seran list being met and friendships that developed . Therefore, this in Inglés Ways five sample paragraph Getting ready The camp paragraph Through New Youth DO Preparation friends . These tips will help to Make the Most Unique Experience esta y Recuerdos CREATE favorable.

Determine That I WANT to share.


MakeNew Friends requires a certain amount Dissemination . Shares Things About You and The Other personality Share Some Things . At first, it may feel a little uncomfortable. So much so clear Have What You want to go to Disclose before camping . WANT discuss anything About Your Family? Talking WANT acerca School and The Millennium Futures? Talking addition HOBBIES WANT ? The choice made is His.


Determine How to handle sensitive topics .


Some topics are off limits , because her Too Personal . With THAT in mind, Como dice is a person not Talk About WANT a specific theme , sin Offensive service? Instead primer , YOU can answer in a nice way on . Second place in , Flower Report Another person has respect REQUEST YOU Also knew of any number of topics to discuss.


What decided you want to learn acerca Other .


Make friends soles is learn from others . Indeed, this parte Makes Process More interesting sea . If you are shy or service Uncomfortable The First romper ice , prepare a list of questions and memorize Have . After Haber By Sometimes , it will become natural. EQUALLY important scam Care Play Another person that is not saying while he or she is not talking .


Other practical gifts before .


Someone SAID: "It is not in the Introduction. " Therefore, give some thought to how you want to present yourself to others. Training will be provided as you rest for a Scenario Talk . You mean more or less? For EXAMPLE , YOU COULD say , "Hi, Susie soybeans, and am under UN High School If you think the acerca the WANT To say that before hand , you will have pressure on you and the other person ?


FIND A Way of Staying in touch .


Staying Connected ends after the camp are the way to keep a friendship and strengthen . Be Prepared para para collect information and Storing Keep in touch . That could PUT The number INCLUDE A PERSON Phone , Address Email , or domicile.



Family Feuds, Boundaries and Forgiveness During the Holiday Season

Holidays and , in particular, the Christmas holidays are known for family feuds . Most families think it's just his own dysfunctional family and try to keep these things secret and covered .  

If the tension is tight enough , it will break in an open area with a mass of underlying problems in the scene with the ferocity of a war mount typhoon, leaving her battered and disoriented step area Honesty, see the underlying problems , the wisdom of the viability of the relationships involved , and leaving aside the grudges calm troubled waters.The first step in the healing of these disputes and tensions is to be honest about their existence .
The second is to identify the underlying problems that are trivial in the general setting out of the war.


The third is to allow the wisdom and common sense seem to be either limited or , if possible , an honest and sincere reconciliation.

Fourth, whatever the decisions and actions of one, without forgiveness , we keep piling another grudge , to add to all those who are already part of a normal human consciousness. To carry a grudge is to shorten the life and health of a poison , and the heart of a contract. Knowing this , forgiveness choice easier!


Human nature is , in fact, very predictable. Under the pretense of justice or law or assumed care for the welfare of others, will seek their own perceived victory. Often , it is driven by the desire for money . From time to time , which is driven by jealousy silent, but comparing to other toxic fate worse than trying to undermine each other to feel better about your own mistakes and shortcomings. Sometimes it is driven by rage to a person once subjected assert their freedom and dignity. Of course , most people , this is quite unconscious and rarely recognized , especially in regards to a supposed " loved " family member .


The hunger for money , jealousy , desire for control over another are all those unpleasant qualities. Few will face raw courage and therefore try to eliminate their presence bittersweet . What seems sweet to the ego - money , power and win another cost - is poison to the soul fulfillment and true happiness . If people knew, they would not be so tempted to betray what is really good for short-term gains that the smell of sickness and duplicity .


However, in the end, despite all the ugly human traits forgive, let go, and the release of our thoughts affect . After all, what is one I do? It is programmed for self- preservation. He sees the money and personal power as essential to their survival and success.


Only search within the specific practice of brutal honesty with ourselves we see these qualities , or seeds of these qualities in ourselves and therefore we recognize in others. We know what it feels like jealousy. We know that the will to power looks like. We know that contact prickly resentment. We know that the smell of money with his seduction of a better, less stressful and happier life. If we are human beings , we know these things.

If we are fortunate to be in a mental and spiritual journey that clearly recognizes this , which gradually correct human weaknesses. They will be replaced by a more mature approach to sincere and loving life. Surely, then , we can have the good grace to understand that those who are not yet on this path does not have the ability to make decisions that are obvious to us where we are. In the valley , some things that seemed a good choice, or even the only option, ridiculous over the mountain road .


Pain is the fuel for growth and everyone has to suffer the bad decisions until consciousness has matured enough to choose something else . Do not rush to condemn those who do not yet have the opportunity to be on a path that leads to peace , success and security. The price of this path is the willingness to share with others and a willingness to forgive those who do not know it's there .

5 Things To Look For In A Partner And A Relationship

A. loveEveryone deserves to be loved and we all prosper greatly feel loved and to be able to love others . However, the definition of love and get the amount of love that we want and how we want is much easier said than done! Although love is a feeling, 

we have a lot of experiences and thoughts about love that makes it difficult to see clearly on this complex issue of the past. What is clear is that men and women often have a different perception of love, and the way to show love can be very different from one person to another . Some people expressed love mainly through words , while others prefer to show their love through their actions. Whatever your language of love is sure to inform your loved ones for you to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and feelings of pain.

Two . respectRespect is a very sensitive issue , and the notion of respect is often the culprit of many misunderstandings in relationships and lively discussions. Therefore, it is important to remember that people often have very different opinions on what is relatively good, especially if they are of a different cultural environment. In other words, what they perceive as a lack of respect can be quite normal in the opinion of another , and so the actions of one person is not necessarily a sign of disrespect, even if you happen to feel disrespected. However, there are a number of behaviors that should never be taken universally in no way respectful.These include violent behavior , emotional abuse , constant lies, betrayal and malicious manipulation . If you find these behaviors in your partner and your relationship, it's time to ask yourself if you want to spend your time and energy on fixing these habits die hard , or they may be better for your self esteem away still intact.



Three . privacyPrivacy implies closeness, solidarity , affection, warmth and sexual connection. If we talk about physical or verbal communication, it is important to have a level of intimacy that you feel comfortable and promotes the feeling of being understood , loved and respected . You should not feel pressured or forced to push back its own limits when it comes to privacy. Communication is key when it comes to finding a level of intimacy that you both can be happy.April . confidenceWithout an air of trust in a relationship , feelings of love, respect and privacy are slowly suffocate.


 Ideally, and for your own peace of mind , confidence is better when it initially granted unconditionally , and a feeling of distrust towards the other must first win. In other words, innocent until proven guilty ! To maintain a healthy level of trust in the relationship , you and your partner should both be reliable , open, honest, trustworthy and support their communication and actions with each - other by at least 95 % of the time . If you know you can trust your partner when you reveal your weaknesses , fears, hopes and dreams, but this information is ignored, laughed , shared with others or used against them in subsequent discussions , you can be sure that you have a good supportive friend you can trust , as well as a lover.

A person who is not trustworthy quickly show their true face or her for not paying attention to what you say , not show on the agreed time , giving constant excuses for bad behavior , lies, defensive performance without apparent cause , which has a confusing and indirect communication , and giving mixed signals and again. However, note that if you are having problems with constant trust with the people around you , the problem may likewise come from within yourself .

May . common interestsWhen it comes to common interests , clearly having not share everything with a potential partner. However, without a lot of common interests , values, beliefs , etc, you can easily get bored or irritated , and you will not have much to talk about or you have a lot of things to do together after thrilling first novel to be have subsided. 


 Opposites may attract , but not for long! Important common interests that should be considered before investing in a long term relationship include: children (with or without the type of education , discipline, etc. ) , where and how to live, how to spend your free time ( view travel , the sport, recreation , etc. ) , personality ( extrovert vs. introvert ) , religious beliefs (they can find common ground ), culture (can work ) , level of education and policies.

Dessing Camilla is a qualified and experienced psychologist and therapist with over fifteen years of experience in helping people overcome psychological problems like anxiety, fear , depression , bereavement, relationship difficulties , abuse , addiction , and more. Ms. Dessing currently works as associate psychology Psychology Centre , Singapore. For more information or to schedule and appointment

What to Do When Your Children Command Your Attention... Constantly

You probably remember how excited I was the first time I saw this lovely face. Wrapped in a pretty pink or blue blanket and sleep well , he knew his life would never be the same. You smiled at you and your spouse have shared a wonderful time together will never forget.

However, as time passed and the boy grew , he began to realize how different your life would be . Maybe there was a bit more of the children together, and now you have found it in a place where their children always seem to find a way to control your attention.  

This is perhaps where you have not left a lot of energy to your relationship with your spouse at the end of the day.

This is a common problem in marriage. Many couples spend all their energy in the education of their children, to the point that when the kids are gone, they find that not even know each other . So what do you do when your kids require a lot of attention ? How to reconnect with each other after a long day full of sports practices , piano lessons , and dinner on the way?


Remember - You are on the same teamEvery pair should have this discussion, and you should have more than once . Working in partnership to raise their family . Avoid thinking that you do on your own while your spouse works , or you take care of kids all the time , while your spouse tend to their own needs. Instead , in relation to each other . Work together and understand the importance of a break from time to time given to regroup. You should be able to trust each other to work in his family, and as long as you remember that you work together , your team will remain strong .

Finding a nannyEven when finances are tight , it is still important for you to go on dates with her husband from time to time . Maybe you can not go to a fancy restaurant. Why not have a picnic and go to the park? Finding a nanny who will work cheap, or better yet , trade babysitting with another family who can spend more time away from the kids as much as possible .Give your spouse the benefit of the doubtResentment can quickly get into a marriage , especially when a person is quick to judge or criticize the parenting techniques of the other. Ladies, if your husband constantly puts layers upside down, do not give very sorry for him . Men , if your wife does not always take their kids to soccer practice on time, remember how many requests during the day. Remember, you are trying so hard to do the best for his family, to give others the benefit of the doubt and cut each other some slack .


Above all, take a moment each day to look into the eyes of others and appreciate each other . Hugs, kisses. Even if you do not feel like it. Tell your spouse that you love them . These moments are so precious, and even if you are struggling today, his family life is full of blessings because of the life we ​​have created together and the love they have for each other. Enjoy each and every one of these moments and enjoy each other along the way.


Need some help figuring out how to keep the strong bond between you and your partner , respecting the demands of family life? Their marriage was once your biggest investment . We would like to help keep it that way . If you are considering marriage counseling , leaving advisers Relationship Center Orange County help.

Choosing a Kinder, More Postivie Perspective About Your Partner

Lucas had to join Emily in the restaurant at 7, which was when they were supposed to meet his best friends, Joe and Maggie. It was the birthday of Joe and Maggie. They wanted to share with Lucas because Lucas and Emily and Emily were the ones who started first. They were a quartet since.

Emily arrived at the restaurant at 6:55 . Joe and Maggie got there at 7:05 . At 7:15 there was no sign of Lucas . When Emily Lucas reached on his mobile , it was clear that he had completely lost track of time . He had not even left the house .


Scenario # 1 - When Emily disconnects the call with Luke , Maggie and turns to Joe and said, " Sorry, guys Luc running behind you know how - .. He is so absorbed in his work that he has lost track time. once creativity began to flow , he loses himself in his writing . " She smiled knowingly and Joe and Maggie said , with obvious affection in his voice, "This is just a wonderful example of stories of the writer about their reality . Soon be here . We sat at the bar and have a drink when we are waiting for him. " Joe and Maggie , following the example of Emily , smile and go on the bar.


Scenario # 2 - . . . When Emily disconnects the call with Luke , turns to Maggie and Joe and said, "I'm so embarrassed Lucas was, as usual , lost in his own little world ruled on this as like him to be reckless with other dinner I think there is . to go for our dinner Si. , and when it finally arrives , you can only catch up. " she goes to the hostess and said its fourth may or may not join them , but she wants to be seated immediately . Maggie and Joe are heading for their irritability with Lucas, but shrug and go , on their way to your table.


The fact that Lucas was late was not different in the two scenarios . What was different was how Emily responded to the delay. Emily Lucas attribute the delay very different in both cases. In scenario # 1 , Emily focuses on good quality Lucas - creativity. Negative behavior in a positive source is assigned . Thus , it remains positive herself , although he is disappointed it's too late .In scenario # 2 Emily Lucas interprets behavior as originating in a negative quality - a lack of consideration for others . After assigning a negative behavior a negative quality Lucas , Emily becomes very negative itself, irritable and angry and hurt .Scenario # 2 has to be this way ? Which influenced the address? Emily has an option ?


First principle - there is always a reason. This reaction did not come from nowhere. If things are going well in the relationship, in general, if there is a positive relationship between the general partners , there is a much greater risk of Scenario 1 . Whatever happens , will probably be seen in a more positive light . If things are not going well in general, if there is a negative relationship between the general partners , there is a much greater risk of Scenario 2 . Whatever happens will be seen in a more negative light.


Second principle - yes, it's not a choice. Part of being in a relationship that includes the responsibility to find the positive in your partner. This does not mean to neglect or ignore hurtful or insulting behavior. This does not mean returning to a base of trust. Trust that your partner wants to be a good partner , wants to make you happy, be successful, and is not indifferent to their feelings. So make an effort from outside your immediate reaction to focus on the positive. Then you work your way to confidence. If the problem persists , take your partner with open hands - share your feelings in a non-adversarial way , trust your partner to understand their feelings and be sensitive to them will be a good partner.


When you can choose positively and with confidence, you can move your generally negative relationship to the overall positive consideration. Welcome to scenario 1 .Dr. Benna Sherman was a private practice licensed in Severna Park , Maryland psychologist for over 20 years. She has a specialty in couples counseling / relationship and write a fortnightly column on relationships. His book, " How to get and give love - Relationship Maps " is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle.