Do
you have a mother or daughter - it says it is "good" or said nothing at
all, but it starts with obvious strong pouts , sighs, and undermine
those " accidental" oversights ? No matter what he says or does not say , his actions are screaming the truth : She is not happy with you. This is known as passive- aggressive behavior, and it's not your imagination - is very true!
Dealing with this behavior (passive and unassuming on the surface, but wickedly aggressive toward you later) can be incredibly difficult , stressful and frustrating. Fortunately , I have some specific strategies to deal with liabilities - mothers -in-law and the daughters -in-law passive aggressive - aggressive - and even passive - aggressive husband / son. So read on to get the tools you need for the results you want .
Girls in the law on mothers - in-Law passive-aggressiveEven if you feel like it , you really have an advantage. I 'm not saying for you to enhance your brother, but if you can feel less helpless and begin to see the situation from a different angle.The following two tips work because they allow you both change their behavior and feel better despite their actions. After all, it takes two to play , so if you change the rules for your mother-in - law , it is impossible for him to continue his frustrating behavior.
This is how things happen :
A. Move the power of sound with humor. When she tells him that she is "good" , but it happens dramatically , giving a chortle or laugh at the inside joke kind of way you said that you know exactly what it does, but the behavior is ignored. This allows you to get a loud and clear message without his challenge to the outside.
Two . Play naive. Take it at face value . Suppose if she says something directly, it is really very good with what he has said or done . After all , you can not assume that you are a mind reader , right? When she can no longer rely on their behavior to get what she wants , she would be forced to admit their feelings or sit and do nothing about their opposing views .
For mothers - in - law of Girls - in-Law passive-aggressiveHere , it's probably either , stinging hurtful comments that are hard to combat malicious subterfuge or omissions undermine "accidental" . For example , his daughter -in-law can not register for special family events or she can go in the other room every time they come in (or never leave the other room on arrival ) .
Here's how to create a more balanced sense of power:
A. Take a few steps back emotionally . Realize what it does for you, for the most part , not personal. Probably behaves this way with everyone , she is angry with her because she feels she has no power. After all, if he felt confident enough to deal directly with people, do not resort to this behavior , right?Two . Be a role model. Instead of sneaking or show your anger, help them see that having feelings is correct. Help them learn to express their feelings and get results that are a win-win for both.Three . Acknowledge your feelings , but it will not. If she does not feel it is acceptable to talk about " bad" feelings , help them see that feelings are just feelings . Tell her in a quiet supportive environment what you think she is feeling brings these feelings in public.
April . Help him understand that you really want to understand. When you show that it is important enough to listen to your feelings , you begin to create a neutral environment, which enables you to build a stronger relationship .
For the mothers and wives who care for husbands / sounds passive-aggressiveHusband / son can certainly use the passive-aggressive behavior of the fuel to the fire of a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law stressful relationship. Let things happen and may even develop a certain point, but when you are prepared for them, act as if they have no power to change anything.
A typical example is when a mother tries to talk to her son and her daughter - mother closes the door of his family life. His response is passive - aggressive, " What can I say? " Or "I do not know what to say ," what your mother feels helpless. When she tries to talk to her husband frustration with what she sees as her mother-in -law's lack of respect for her and her family , all it says is: " I do not know what to tell my mother , you know how can you be .. " Because woman is protective of her husband and tired of the drama visits his mother seem to create , handle the same situation decides to flee to his mother -in-law - and her husband just goes along for the ride .
"Powerlessness " husband / son passive-aggressive is here to implement a very worrying situation between his wife and his mother. Instead of saying anything, the drama and tension is allowed to continue . What's worse is that women see it as the victim!
Here is how to rightful responsibility :
• wives, learn to work in teams. Make sure the two of you decide together the best way to handle a difficult situation right . Let him know that no matter who makes the conversation , the two of you should be together , side by side , present a united front to face his mother what he has decided . If you are talking , you have to take into account in their words , body language , and so he agrees and supports you .
• Mothers learn to gain clarity . The next time your child expresses impotence , ask directly : " Do you agree with [ his daughter - mother ]" Furthermore, when discussing something that you are struggling with , such as learning to see the grandchildren , talk to your son and his wife together. If not give direct answers point to the discrepancy between their words and actions.
It is essential that the wives and mothers say the man in the middle is always part of the equation. As helpless as it sounds, believe me, it's not ! Of course , talk to him from a place of love, compassion, and even confusion rather than a place of anger or frustration. This will push to have the most honest and real relationships.
The more you practice these tips, the easier it will get and the faster your passive-aggressive legal relationship will become a mutual respect - and who knows, maybe even affection.
Dealing with this behavior (passive and unassuming on the surface, but wickedly aggressive toward you later) can be incredibly difficult , stressful and frustrating. Fortunately , I have some specific strategies to deal with liabilities - mothers -in-law and the daughters -in-law passive aggressive - aggressive - and even passive - aggressive husband / son. So read on to get the tools you need for the results you want .
Girls in the law on mothers - in-Law passive-aggressiveEven if you feel like it , you really have an advantage. I 'm not saying for you to enhance your brother, but if you can feel less helpless and begin to see the situation from a different angle.The following two tips work because they allow you both change their behavior and feel better despite their actions. After all, it takes two to play , so if you change the rules for your mother-in - law , it is impossible for him to continue his frustrating behavior.
This is how things happen :
A. Move the power of sound with humor. When she tells him that she is "good" , but it happens dramatically , giving a chortle or laugh at the inside joke kind of way you said that you know exactly what it does, but the behavior is ignored. This allows you to get a loud and clear message without his challenge to the outside.
Two . Play naive. Take it at face value . Suppose if she says something directly, it is really very good with what he has said or done . After all , you can not assume that you are a mind reader , right? When she can no longer rely on their behavior to get what she wants , she would be forced to admit their feelings or sit and do nothing about their opposing views .
For mothers - in - law of Girls - in-Law passive-aggressiveHere , it's probably either , stinging hurtful comments that are hard to combat malicious subterfuge or omissions undermine "accidental" . For example , his daughter -in-law can not register for special family events or she can go in the other room every time they come in (or never leave the other room on arrival ) .
Here's how to create a more balanced sense of power:
A. Take a few steps back emotionally . Realize what it does for you, for the most part , not personal. Probably behaves this way with everyone , she is angry with her because she feels she has no power. After all, if he felt confident enough to deal directly with people, do not resort to this behavior , right?Two . Be a role model. Instead of sneaking or show your anger, help them see that having feelings is correct. Help them learn to express their feelings and get results that are a win-win for both.Three . Acknowledge your feelings , but it will not. If she does not feel it is acceptable to talk about " bad" feelings , help them see that feelings are just feelings . Tell her in a quiet supportive environment what you think she is feeling brings these feelings in public.
April . Help him understand that you really want to understand. When you show that it is important enough to listen to your feelings , you begin to create a neutral environment, which enables you to build a stronger relationship .
For the mothers and wives who care for husbands / sounds passive-aggressiveHusband / son can certainly use the passive-aggressive behavior of the fuel to the fire of a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law stressful relationship. Let things happen and may even develop a certain point, but when you are prepared for them, act as if they have no power to change anything.
A typical example is when a mother tries to talk to her son and her daughter - mother closes the door of his family life. His response is passive - aggressive, " What can I say? " Or "I do not know what to say ," what your mother feels helpless. When she tries to talk to her husband frustration with what she sees as her mother-in -law's lack of respect for her and her family , all it says is: " I do not know what to tell my mother , you know how can you be .. " Because woman is protective of her husband and tired of the drama visits his mother seem to create , handle the same situation decides to flee to his mother -in-law - and her husband just goes along for the ride .
"Powerlessness " husband / son passive-aggressive is here to implement a very worrying situation between his wife and his mother. Instead of saying anything, the drama and tension is allowed to continue . What's worse is that women see it as the victim!
Here is how to rightful responsibility :
• wives, learn to work in teams. Make sure the two of you decide together the best way to handle a difficult situation right . Let him know that no matter who makes the conversation , the two of you should be together , side by side , present a united front to face his mother what he has decided . If you are talking , you have to take into account in their words , body language , and so he agrees and supports you .
• Mothers learn to gain clarity . The next time your child expresses impotence , ask directly : " Do you agree with [ his daughter - mother ]" Furthermore, when discussing something that you are struggling with , such as learning to see the grandchildren , talk to your son and his wife together. If not give direct answers point to the discrepancy between their words and actions.
It is essential that the wives and mothers say the man in the middle is always part of the equation. As helpless as it sounds, believe me, it's not ! Of course , talk to him from a place of love, compassion, and even confusion rather than a place of anger or frustration. This will push to have the most honest and real relationships.
The more you practice these tips, the easier it will get and the faster your passive-aggressive legal relationship will become a mutual respect - and who knows, maybe even affection.
