We are all caught off guard by relationships- they are inconvenient and time-consuming. We will change plans, long term and short term, sacrifice time, and sometimes, even move to a new home all in the name of love- or at least affection from another human being.
With all that said, however, we find the stages of falling into a relationship exhilarating and the attained product to often bring security and fun- in the best cases. Though this process can be defined it can't always be controlled. Often we are swept up into it and only come up for air in the case of an argument or some time away. For what it's worth- here are the stages, defined.
1. Sparks Fly
We are always picking up the signals people are sending out. Just walking down the street, every individual person sends out and receives messages to you and from you. This reaction is very primitive, for example, dogs will instantly see friend or foe and begin to back away before you come close. It can be picked up by intuitive types of people but for most it is so quick, it can't even be consciously felt.
The first move involves a microscopic signal from one person. On some level, it is received and reflected by the other person.
Next, sparks are passed back and forth and finally make their way into tangible gestures- in other words, both people acknowledge the game that is playing out.
Finally, two things can happen. The thing that normally takes place is nothing. The sparks fly and slowly die out- they are sent out by one and not received by the other. The other thing that happens is that one person bravely approaches the situation. Introductions take place in new cases and the awkward elephant is called out in old friendships.
2. Dating/Introducing
This courting phase consists of back and forth jabber. Both people exchange stories of childhood/experiences to help the other see where they are coming from.
Though it may seem so, this stage isn't always in the Relationship Phase- at least not all at once. Some relationships go right to stage #3 and end up just fine.
3. Bonding
Physical bonding occurs in this phase. Either an emotional bond has already been founded or will soon follow. For many people, this is the "make-it-or-break-it" stage. This may or may not involve sexual-intercourse but most likely cuddling and other shows of affection. There's a considerable amount of pressure, typically, for this is the first stage of intimacy.
4. Going Public
After a relationship starts to go steady, one person in the relationship or both people in the relationship typically decide to go public. This may be as slight as changing the status on your Facebook page or it could be as big as introducing the partner to friends and family. Just as in #2, this stage is a process and isn't always done all at once.
5. Change of Scenery
Typically, this is the first big sacrifice made on either part of the relationship. Whether a couple takes turns in staying at each other's abodes or the favored "hang-out" spot of one person becomes their partner's as well. Some people may decide to permanently move in with their partner is this stage.This is where frustration may begin to settle.
6. Arguments
This isn't always a factor in relationships but many people suffer through at least a "first big argument". The way that this is presented depends solely on the two involved.* These arguments stem from minor misunderstandings, a feeling of being "trapped" in a confined partnership, and/or psychological/ulterior motives- a way to "test" a partner's loyalty.
Cycling
Many of these phases will be repeated in a relationship. What is the goal, where is it going? People often wonder why they ever got into the relationship in the first place. There are people that just aren't satisfied and it has nothing to do with the variable at hand- when they are in a relationship they wish to be single and visa verse.
Once a relationship has been established and bonded - arguments, love, and changes of scenery are bound to take place. The list above is a skeleton- no two couples are alike but this creates a framework for those that like to judge the abstract.
With all that said, however, we find the stages of falling into a relationship exhilarating and the attained product to often bring security and fun- in the best cases. Though this process can be defined it can't always be controlled. Often we are swept up into it and only come up for air in the case of an argument or some time away. For what it's worth- here are the stages, defined.
1. Sparks Fly
We are always picking up the signals people are sending out. Just walking down the street, every individual person sends out and receives messages to you and from you. This reaction is very primitive, for example, dogs will instantly see friend or foe and begin to back away before you come close. It can be picked up by intuitive types of people but for most it is so quick, it can't even be consciously felt.
The first move involves a microscopic signal from one person. On some level, it is received and reflected by the other person.
Next, sparks are passed back and forth and finally make their way into tangible gestures- in other words, both people acknowledge the game that is playing out.
Finally, two things can happen. The thing that normally takes place is nothing. The sparks fly and slowly die out- they are sent out by one and not received by the other. The other thing that happens is that one person bravely approaches the situation. Introductions take place in new cases and the awkward elephant is called out in old friendships.
2. Dating/Introducing
This courting phase consists of back and forth jabber. Both people exchange stories of childhood/experiences to help the other see where they are coming from.
Though it may seem so, this stage isn't always in the Relationship Phase- at least not all at once. Some relationships go right to stage #3 and end up just fine.
3. Bonding
Physical bonding occurs in this phase. Either an emotional bond has already been founded or will soon follow. For many people, this is the "make-it-or-break-it" stage. This may or may not involve sexual-intercourse but most likely cuddling and other shows of affection. There's a considerable amount of pressure, typically, for this is the first stage of intimacy.
4. Going Public
After a relationship starts to go steady, one person in the relationship or both people in the relationship typically decide to go public. This may be as slight as changing the status on your Facebook page or it could be as big as introducing the partner to friends and family. Just as in #2, this stage is a process and isn't always done all at once.
5. Change of Scenery
Typically, this is the first big sacrifice made on either part of the relationship. Whether a couple takes turns in staying at each other's abodes or the favored "hang-out" spot of one person becomes their partner's as well. Some people may decide to permanently move in with their partner is this stage.This is where frustration may begin to settle.
6. Arguments
This isn't always a factor in relationships but many people suffer through at least a "first big argument". The way that this is presented depends solely on the two involved.* These arguments stem from minor misunderstandings, a feeling of being "trapped" in a confined partnership, and/or psychological/ulterior motives- a way to "test" a partner's loyalty.
Cycling
Many of these phases will be repeated in a relationship. What is the goal, where is it going? People often wonder why they ever got into the relationship in the first place. There are people that just aren't satisfied and it has nothing to do with the variable at hand- when they are in a relationship they wish to be single and visa verse.
Once a relationship has been established and bonded - arguments, love, and changes of scenery are bound to take place. The list above is a skeleton- no two couples are alike but this creates a framework for those that like to judge the abstract.
